I [Miles] am all about monogamy, but EmBen can have as much NED as she wants.
The past three months have been focused on recovery from surgery and radiation. Each day, EmBen has challenged herself physically and mentally to increase her lung capacity and overall energy level. The improvement has been noticeable and remarkable, and with that comes such promise of long-term health.
But yesterday (Monday 8/19) we had a CT scan. The date has haunted me all month. It is a reminder that her health is hardly safe. So, despite my confidence in EmBen, and despite her incredible determination and focus, I have been crippled by fear the past week. It is a common reaction and known as “scanxiety” in the cancer community. For me it entails not sleeping, not eating, an inability to work (sorry Garland!), and a general all round physical meltdown. For EmBen, it simply means enjoying another day of life (sometimes I wonder if she is still human).
So after anxiously waiting the past 24 hours, we just received word that EmBen continues to be cancer free!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Her love affair with NED is showing promise of a long term relationship. The worrying can subside for now and I can accompany EmBen in enjoying each marvelous day. She is the most beautiful, amazing woman and I keep falling more and more in love with her.
Much love. Live in the moment.
Miles (and EmBen)